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Tag: attachment parenting

On kindness and loving yourself, especially when the world does otherwise

For many days now, Rumi has been struggling with her friends. It is all minor issues from what to play and where to play but I see some inherent conflicts and they worry me. One part of it is language. Her friends often call her ‘bavlat’ and ‘murkha’ (stupid, moron) and are generally quite rude…

On extented breastfeeding

I’ve been wanting to start guest posts for some time now because there are many interesting, wise, brilliant mommies (and daddies) out there with some wonderful insights that we can all benefit from. Yesterday my friend Gau, one of the most gorgeous, intelligent, articulate and empathetic people i know put up an Instagram post that fired…

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R's first milk tooth fell out last night. When it started getting loose both the husband and I were in great shock and denial. "Isn't she way too young for it" we exclaimed to each other but it turns out that it can happen anytime between 5 - 7 years. She also already has a new tooth emerging. This phenomenon is apparently called shark teeth, when there are 2 layers of teeth. I didn't know how common it was till I saw all of R's friends sporting double layers. I'm glad her milk tooth fell out though giving the other one enough room to grow. If that doesn't happen the child may require a tooth extraction yikes! Anyway enough of tooth gyaan, all of which I have acquired from the highly reliable Google 😂😂. R being a highly sensitive soul was quite traumatised with the blood last night and so we have written to the tooth fairy today. I also gave her a very special little box to put her tooth in: a very ornate fish box, a present I received from my fellow piscean German friend Annika. I can't believe my child is growing up so rapidly!🙈 #alettertothetoothfairy #toothfairy #milkteeth #theygrowupsofast #raisingrumi #raisingahighlysensitivechild

What do you do on days that for want of a better word, seem bleh? Days that feel like you aren't really getting anywhere, though the destination is also not quite clear, all you know is that right now its not here? Days where you feel like everyone is doing better and succeeding at nameless, vague things that you know you could do if only you would? But even the simple first step of 'doing' feels like it would require a massive amount of energy so you stay put, mindlessly continue to surf till your fingers hurt and your eyes water and head dulls? I have days like this. Not too often but I do. Mostly they come when I argue with the husband or mercilessly scold my girl (today it is the latter). Sometimes they come from watching somebody else succeed at something I secretly desire to do. At other times they are brought on by nothing but a combination of exhaustion, dehydration and lack of sleep. Mostly they are brought on by spending excessive time on social media and convincing myself that everybody has it so much better; they've hit the sweet spot for a much 'cooler life'. These days exist and sometimes persist. And just acknowledging that it is just that, bad days, already takes away some of their power. A bad day is not a reflection of my whole life, it is not an accurate mirror of all my collective failures, all that it is, is a difficult day. The second step is to check off basic health and sanity factors which may differ for everybody. For me: i haven't had water in way too long, i need some sleep, or i need to declutter everything in my peripheral vision. If my bad mood persists after that, I need a scalding hot bath. And then if the slump has persisted, it helps me to either create or dip down into the past. If I can muster enough strength, I write a blog post, knit or sew or work in our balcony garden. If I am unable to summon that energy, I usually take a look at past anchors; I put on our wedding CD or look through my laptop for old pictures or pull out R's baby album. I use old photos, letters, diaries etc. to remember a time when I felt like this and to remind myself that it passed. Continued in the comments:

#Repost @doodleswithlove (@get_repost) ・・・ How much and how quickly do we change as people? Do we ever completely move away from the traits we are born with? Lying in bed with a fever today, I'm pondering over these things. I think the biggest change in me has been learning to enjoy the NOW. I never dwell on the past too much but I used to spend hours thinking about the future, wanting to quickly move on to the next milestone. But I look at these old pictures of Rumi and just realise how time flies. Those days are gone before you know it. Toh Jo bhi hai, abhi hai. In savouring what you have today. The whiny tot, the messy house, the flaky maids. But also the husband who fed you tea from a saucer before happily going to the child's school for cooking day because you are sick. Also the good book, the thick blanket, the warm socks. Lots of tiny wrongs but lots of huge rights. Today I am extraordinarily grateful for having learned to make the most of the present. #lifelessons #throwbackthursday #livinginthepresent #savouringeverymoment #gratefulforthefamily #biglittlejoys #happinessis

#Repost @doodleswithlove (@get_repost) ・・・ Early garden mornings 😊 #throwbackthursday

#throwbackthursday #Repost @doodleswithlove (@get_repost) ・・・ The story of a little girl and the days when she tries really hard. So one of the first personality traits we noticed about Rumi was her aversion to being laughed at. We saw that it really hurt her feelings and made her cry even when we laughed when she was simply being adorable. We soon stopped but unfortunately people around us continue to do so, making her extremely self-conscious although most of them mean well and laugh out of sheer delight rather than spite. Someone laughed once at her two ponytails and she stopped wearing her hair in ponytails after that. She also became extremely wary of letting me try a new style on her. Even in her choice of outfits she started conforming and trying to wear what everybody else was and most girls at her school wear frocks with leggings. (I find it horribly ugly!) So Rumi stopped wearing her shorts, skirts, overalls and basically anything cute and trendy. We continuously spoke to her about her uniqueness, her individual beauty and this morning she woke up and said "Mumma I'm going to wear what I like. Even if people laugh, I know in my heart that I am beautiful when I do what I want. And I want two ponytails." I could have died of joy right then. And as I combed her hair, I could not stop humming that old Christina Aguilera song "You are beautiful, in every single way..." #beautifuldayswithrumi #beautyliesinindividuality #theamazingmindsoftots

Do you guys enjoy Downton Abbey? We love it, especially Rums. She loved the movie too and loves to discuss the costumes and she especially loves the soundtrack. She was very keen on learning it on her violin but I suggested that it might be easier on the keyboard. The husband has a wonderful ear for music and was able to figure out the basic keys in a minute and it took little R a few attempts to get it. She is unfortunately a perfectionist and had a lot of teary tantrums when she wasn't quite getting it right and it took all my loving to just tell her how proud I am, not because of anything she does but just because she is. I hope you guys enjoy her mini performance, let me know what you think about her playing as well as this need to get things right immediately! #downtonabbey #raisingrumi #gentleparenting #consciousparenting #makingmusic #thisisus #togethertimes #rumiisjoy #rumiislove #musicathome

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